“The road to hell is always paved with good intentions,” seems the perfect expression for this chapter of my life…
The nerve of these people! I just can’t understand “humanity around here.”
It might sound funny or odd but I am asked about my family. As is normal if we are human. But I really don’t talk about my family. Quite frankly I don’t speak to them.
So when people ask me certain things I just say “no I don’t understand that question I was hatched.”
It might seem funny and humour has always been a way for me to survive the madness of those I am unfortunately related to.
Knowing that you’ll have a bit of background to understand the depth of this post without all the unnecessary fillers…
But this is the beginning of the decent into hell on earth for me and a journey to fight for answers. Keep in mind getting answers from medical “experts” from a society that seems to be hatchers themselves it is kind of brutal.
Cold blooded hatchers do not like finding out they hatched an empathetic caring human being! LOL
I’ve been noticing a pattern regarding autoimmune disease that more often than not they have toxic family or years in a work environment that is toxic.
So I visited my hatchery after 25 years of not seeing her. I felt sorry for her. And of course those of us that escape always wonder if they have changed. Or become wiser after all the passing years.
We want to know for sure we were correct to close the doors before they make their finally journey in life. We tend to not want them to suffer because we are humane.
At least that is my take on the situation.
I had made a promise to visit after I had settled in Central America and could fly to see her. I couldn’t go right away.
Eventually had to leave as I had immigrations statuses to keep legal while I had put off the legal aspect of immigration because of health. And taking care of one thing at a time. (I was used to this temporary exit and was kind of a pro at it while deciding if I wanted to make it permanent.)
I was in heaven there!
I was getting better and I booked my flight as promised and it came at same time I needed to leave.
So I spent about 20 hours with connections getting to my hatchery. I was incredibly nervous as I had not seen her in 25 years and I was justified for that decision to cut all ties.
I was blue as well as the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with was waiting for me to come back.
We planned a family and actually had a baby on the way early. But the doctor said it would be OK and I felt I was so close to recovery after surgery.
Fast forward a few day after and I got a respiratory infection and of course like normal my asthma said, “No, I just cannot cooperate with in you in anyway in this awful environment”
I went to the doctors office. Now keep in mind, in civilized nations you just explain the asthma history, doctor sees breathing distress, decides to listen to patient stating is it bronchitis symptoms.
A good listen proves to all competent MD’s that this is most likely and due to the nature of asthma it’s best to treat when in such distress to avoid hospital stay.
Well not where the hatchery is!
I was ten weeks pregnant and recovering from a surgery that removed half of my breast. Otherwise known as a partial mastectomy. That surgery came after my child’s father and I conceived and but did not know it yet.
Anyway’s the GP I saw refused to prescribe me ventolin. She gave me an inhaler that did not work on me when I was younger and I had never tried it again. I explained it does not work for me.
She also denied me my request for a nebulizer for some extra help at same time I asked for Ventolin. Simply because I have had severe asthma my entire life and I knew where this was going fast if I did not treat it properly.
She said ” We don’t generally prescribe those here in this country because they don’t work”
She also had the audacity to tell me ” I can deliver your baby too when the time comes”
How did my bronchitis and need of ventolin while I came to see my mother and my asthma acting up while on my visit become an assumption I moved there? Or that I would want this woman to deliver my baby?
So now I was walking out with a prescription for asthma that did not work even though I was willing because my asthma had improved since I last tried it. But our of desperation I was not given much choice.
She was aware I was recovering from a partial mastectomy and I told her it was almost healed but she wanted to look.
It was evident I had the surgery.
She was stuck in the dark ages as ventolin is a schedule C drug. Otherwise known as safe for pregnant women. However their is a question regarding breast feeding mothers.
I think this picture sums up that I was not a risk for breast feeding.
This doctor helped ruin my life! Her decisions almost cost me the baby that was planned but early. And my life too. That will come in later posts…
Back at the hatchery was ground zero for familial dysfunction. The family my mother married into were some extremely horrendous people. Her step daughter her own age married and divorced SIX times. her two steps sons were drugs addicts and her husband was a poop disturber and always picking fights with someone to stir up the pot.
My child’s father and I were trying to communicate. He was not understanding the medical situation. Third world or developing nations don’t even have such awful medical care. It was unbelievable to him.
My mother had to take me to ER multiple times. Like when I was a child it became evident it was inconvenient.
There was another couple there that they knew when I was very young. They mentioned to me they noticed how horrible my mother was treating me. They didn’t know what to say. But the woman said she had a toxic mother so she could sympathize with me somewhat but it was very bad for me.
I was starting to see that I had no reason to ever feel sorry for the hatcher.
The couple visiting started to take me to doctors to try and get help which was extremely simple in normal places that have common sense and regulations for Doctors.
Like a true narcissist my mother drove me to the ER once she felt her friends would call her out. She apologized and then got angry I refused to discuss anything because I was in respiratory distress.
At dinner she came down and looked at me and smirked very slightly. She then gave her friends eight hundred in cash to help with their journey home. To those with abusive families with money it’s called shut up and go along with it funds.
When they left I had to hear her husband bash his long time friends. Without a doubt I was around horrible people. I had to hear about how awful I was as well.
Needless to say I tried to get out. I could not breath and getting home was not possible at the time. I had to see if I could leave and stay elsewhere until I was able.
I had work lined up in another part of the nation which I was going to take back home which would have allowed me maternity plus time off aftee the baby.
I left and I was still diplomatic. Her husband was abusive and screamed racist crap regarding my unborn child. Meanwhile he was disregarding what I was on his wife’s ex husbands side.
I suppose while using my hatchery for money for his own children and being a racist was part of the reason he messed with me as a kid.
So I found someone I knew that happened to live a few hours away. They drove into town and picked me up to rescue me until I could heal to get home.
But those who have autoimmune experience know this is sure a quick way to a flare and a complete hiatus of immune function.
That woman who was a step daughter the same age as my mother? Well I opened my mail inbox and opened an email from her after I left.
It said, “I’m sorry you mother and my dad could not help. You need to pray to Jesus because he will help!” Who is this woman that saw me me about twenty minutes total while knowing how my mother was treating me know anything about my faith or where it stood to tell me this?
Where did she come off as if I crashed their party to beg for help? As if that was my intention?
I’m pretty sure Jesus would be saying, “you need to just drive her to the hospital and stand up for her and let her asthma attack be healed.”
These people acted like I was there invading their space, when it was because my mother had wanted to see me and I promised to giver her another chance so I could know if my decision years ago was indeed correct when she went to her grave ?
Those step children and her husband were always dysfunctional. They also all benefited from my mother family money. She complained she gave her drug addict step son 14 k only to find out what it was for. She knew since he was sixteen he and his family were no good.
That was the beginning of the end.
I had to deal with doctors like this throughout getting actual answers for what is my several autoimmune diseases.
I have learned a lot in this journey. And I know this sadly is actually a trait in a large amount of families where autoimmune sufferers have these in their families.
It is actually a suggested precursor for these diseases being activated. If you are genetically predisposed this is actually a trigger which over time your body turns on itself.
I’m going to go into these types of topics for those that are not aware of the psychological reason behind abusive behavior like this. In hopes to help others suffering realize what it is and how to put a stop to it.
Understanding what a narcissist is and how to end their misery in your lives is a start.
Emotional healing and preservation is a large part of what’s needed for physical healing.
Do you have high loads of toxicity in your home or work environment, prior to finding out you had serious autoimmune disease, such as Lupus or hashimotos or any of the awful illnesses?